Diversity Conversations

Confessions of a Recovering Homophobic

2011-05-22T12:18:00.000-04:00

May 17th was the International Day Against Homophobia. As a diversity professional for the majority of my professional career, I hold memories of myself as being open and affirming. Some of my best friends are gay or lesbian and I couldn't imagine having negative attitudes or feelings toward them simply because of their group identity. As a psychologist, I explored my own psychosexual journey and had been privy to countless individual's psychosexual story and knew that same sex attraction and affection were probably more the norm than most people would care to believe. I have taught classes and workshops on the sexual orientation resolution process, studied the Kinsey Report, know the current sexual orientation scholarship and understand the relationship of sexual orientation to gender; and I have read the research literature on sexual fluidity. I am so enlightened that some of my gay friends tell me I know more about the subject than they do. Yet, I am a recovering homophobic.

In graduate school in the mid-1980s, I took a course entitled, "Counseling the Culturally Different". The title of the course should already be a signal to you that diversity scholarship had a long way to go in the 1980s, since everyone who was not a White, European-American, male of middle class was considered, "culturally different." The approach to the course content followed a culturally-specific model with a menu of those who were different as the focus of each week's lecture. We spent two weeks on gays and lesbians since they were considered very different. A major portion of our grade was determined by the insights that we shared in a two-page reflection paper.

While preparing my prior home for sale and to downsize to a condo, I decided it was really okay to get rid of the boxes of notes and papers from graduate school. After 20 years, I wasn't going to need those notes and besides there were new tools like Google and Wikipedia now if I needed some good reference materials. Paging through the notebooks, I paused finding my reflection papers and took the time to read my paper on homosexuality. I was prepared to read all the wonderful insights that I possessed during a time when I was immersed in daily intellectual rigor and was shocked to find, in my own writing, a rigidity of views and ideas that frighteningly sounded like people who were... yes, I have to admit, homophobic (yikes!). I even wrote quite eloquently about allowing for respect of the gay individual as a human being while acknowledging the atypical and often disordered emotional behaviors. I sat embarrassed and in disbelief. Did I really write that garbage? I would have had gay and lesbian friends at that time and began to wonder about all the ways this homophobia oozed out of me. I am sure that it must have, and to all of my wonderful G/L/B/T friends during those years, I offer a long-overdue apology.

Finding this paper was a god-send. It quelled any sense of diversity righteousness I may have once possessed. I have a lot to learn about the field of which I am noted to be an expert. Yet this is why I love diversity work. It allows me to be a continual student. Diversity is a topic that I will continue to learn about even six months after I am in the grave. Through this work, I have come to know that we are all homophobic (sexist, racist, classist, ageist, etc)... it is just a matter of degree. I continually work to rid myself of homophobia and reduce my own heterosexism. An International Day Against Homophobia is a good reminder for me that I have come a long way, yet am probably unaware of how far I have yet to go.

Civility extends to mentally ill

2011-01-12T17:12:00.003-05:00

I was surprised to hear a major network chief medical correspondent use the term "nutcase" when referring to Jared Loughner, the Arizona shooting suspect. Without a doubt, my sympathy is acutely felt for the victims and their family and Congresswoman Gifford as she struggles for life. At the same time, I feel for the Loughner family. What a tortured soul Loughner must be. His psychiatric diagnosis is best left to professionals but if we are to maintain a culture of civility in our society we need to speak with regard for those who suffer from mental illness. I can't even begin to imagine what that must be like. Our most intense emotional experience could not compare to what someone with a psychosis experiences. Who of us had not heard someone call our name and no one did or heard someone say something that they did not? Can you imagine that happening all the time? So sad.
There is much to pray for in our society.

No Confusion When It Comes to the "Isms"

2009-12-03T19:48:00.004-05:00

Dimension: Race

On Wednesday before the Thanksgiving holiday, the Cleveland edition of the Call & Post, a weekly newspaper with a largely black readership, published a front page, above the fold editorial criticizing Ohio State Senator Nina Turner for her recent support for Issue 6 that called for county government reform with an elected county executive. As the only black elected official who strongly supported Issue 6 rather than Issue 5 which proposed a committee to conduct a year-long study of county reform, the Call & Post depicted Ms. Turner as Aunt Jemima professing “I be’s da new leader,” in the editorial’s accompanying cartoon.

The Plain Dealer, along with several civic and faith-based groups, has criticized the Call & Post for the cartoon since it was published last week. A Facebook page, We Demand Apology for Call & Post Aunt Jemima Editorial garnered over 500 joiners during the first 24 hours. Yet, the newspaper stands by the editorial cartoon criticizing The Plain Dealer for “haven taken this shot across the bow with a fellow publication.” The Call & Post recent editorial backs its stand and makes no mention of its other critics—namely The United Pastors in Mission, an ecumenical group of predominately black congregations, and several black city councilmen along with many community and business leaders.

The Call & Post is confused on the issue. They can editorialize all they want about Ms. Turner’s position on Issue 6, but there should be no confusion that Aunt Jemima is a derogatory, demeaning label of racism and sexism. There was no confusion that Aunt Jemima was a racial stereotype when a similar cartoon was published (and later apologized for) by The Plain Dealer in 1989. George Forbes, now President of the Cleveland Chapter of the NAACP and legal advisor to the Call & Post, was then a mayoral candidate. Now confused about the cartoon’s use as racist, George Forbes holds both the paper and the local chapter of the NAACP hostage in denouncing the racial slur. Let’s not confuse politics, freedom of speech, the black agenda, the education of the 50,000 black school children, black leadership in Cleveland or the election of the new county executive with racial stereotyping. Aunt Jemima is a demoralizing and demeaning racial and gender stereotype and its use distracts from these important issues and possible solutions. The Call & Post and George Forbes should not be confused about that.

What is certain is that State Senator Nina Turner is not confused about who she is or what she stands for and her position on Issue 6 was very clear from the jump start. That deserves respect. It is beyond disappointment that a black newspaper is not the representative voice of all black people and that the leadership of the local NAACP remains silent on this unprincipled depiction of a black leader. Moving forward, we must demand civility in our debates to move our communities toward inclusion and not be confused about racist and sexist actions even when the source purports to speak for black people and positions oneself as a leader of the black community.

How I Remain Catholic

2009-10-27T13:14:00.003-04:00

Diversity Dimension: Religion

Inspired by my friends who are nuns and priests, I wrote last month about why I remain Catholic. How I remain Catholic is another story.

I read with great interest and connecting energy, Maureen Dowd's column in the New York Times this Sunday. If you have not read it, it is definitely worth a read--even if you are not Catholic because the message touches all of our lives in so manys.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/25/opinion/25dowd.html

Women Religious across the United States have been the catalyst for government taking responsibility for social services, having done the lion's share of the work long before civic agencies took notice. Many of these dedicated, committed women are also responsible for providing the best of the best education, especially to poor students who were often students of color. These students are now leading physicians, attorneys, journalists, etertainers, senators and congressmen.

When I read about the outreach being done to conservative Anglicans I felt uncomfortable--not because I do not believe that we should not make every attempt to achieve the goal Jesus set out for us, "that they all may be one," but that this interpretation only included certain "ones". Maureen Dowd's article articulated the source of my discomfort. So how do I remain Catholic?

This week the exhibit, Choosing to Participate, sponsored by Facing History and Ourselves organization, opened at Cleveland's Western Reserve Historical Society. The multimedia exhibit encourages people of all ages to consider the conseqences of their everyday choices. It inspires us to make the essential connection between history and the moral choices that confront our lives. A companion exhibit to the four pods that chronicles the history of the Little Rock Nine; Arn Chorn Pond, a Cambodian refugee; the Billings Montana hate crime response; and an Hispanic journalist, is an exhibit of protraits and profiles of community Upstanders. Upstanders are described as ordinary people who are capable of doing extraordinary things. Upstanders take a positive stand and act on behalf of others. Please visit my latest blog on Huffington Post to read more about this exhibit.

There is a connection to this work and how I remain Catholic. I do so by staying joined to others who imagine a truly universal church, who work to make the dream of inclusion a reality and who create the kind of world where everyone(not just those of a certain mindset or gender or sexual orientation) matters. I am disappointed that American nuns--Upstanders in their own right--are not being afforded the respect they deserve.

Why I Remain Catholic

2009-09-28T16:51:00.003-04:00

Diversity Dimension: Religion

Yesterday I went to a chicken barbecue dinner and boutique event, an annual fundraiser for the religious community where I was once a member. The event is a big draw because it also serves as a grand reunion for families and former students. It was a real hoot seeing so many people I once knew when there were only three television channels.

I saw an old friend who asked me if I was still Catholic and how I was faring in the diocesan turmoil of consolidating and closing parishes. She clearly must have recalled the renegade nature of my youth. I was honest with her and said that I believe myself to be Catholic by cultural and by ritual. I stayed focused on my local parish (that was divinely spared the cuts) and on living out the gospel values. I paid more attention to church with a small "c" than the Church with the capital "C". She understood and felt similarly.

When I got home I continued to think about why I remain Catholic. I do believe that there are other faith traditions that represent more fully my thinking about social justice and diversity than Catholicism does. Although I love my faith family, I could also probably find another fabulous faith community with whom to worship. Then I was struck my the fact that I know a lot of really great priests and nuns. They break most of the stereotypes of priests and nuns in a good way. I witness the full expression of my values for diversity and inclusion in my priest and nun friends who are into this Catholic thing much deeper than I am. My priest and nun friends give witness to gospel values and represent for me what being Catholic is about. I value their friendship for they represent for me what being Catholic really means. By their witness they support me to remain Catholic.

When you only have a hammer...Debate

2009-09-11T19:20:00.002-04:00

Dimension: Gender

Rudy Giuliani on The View on 9/11reflected on the meaning of this day in our history. He stated that as a result of 9/11 Republicans and Democrats came together to bring the country out of crisis. He went on to say that this act of coming together only lasted for a few months. Both parties then went back to disagreeing and debating. After all, that is what republicans and democrats do...they disagree and debate.

As the saying goes, when you only have a hammer everything looks like a nail. If the only thing Republicans and Democrats know how to do is disagree and debate we are in a sorry state of affairs.The ill effects of having only one communication tool are hindering our efforts to reform health care.

Debate is a form of communication designed to win over, influence and persuade. In a debate one listens for rebuttal rather than listening to understand. The goal of a debate is to win rather than to achieve new ways of knowing and understanding.

Dialogue is form of communication used for complex issues such as the ones we are now facing as a country. It aims to enlighten and create an atmosphere where everyone learns and grows. Dialogue is useful for creative thinking and developing new approaches and methods.

We need new approaches and methods to the age-old problem of health care reform. It is easier to debate health care reform because you only have to believe and push your side of the issue. Facts do not matter because in such a complex issue "facts" come in many forms. Choose your fact and just keep pushing it.

Dialogue requires that you suspend your understanding of the issue to get clarity on the other side of the issue. Dialogue requires a non-defensive, non-competitive posture, a spirit of inquiry, openness to influence, and respect for each other as colleagues. These conditions are far harder to achieve than to create conditions for a debate. Toddlers and adolescents have the emotional maturity to debate. Dialogue requires a level of emotional maturity sorely missing from too many of our civic leaders.

As a diversity champion, I have this fantasy that if there were more women in the Senate and Congress we might move toward dialogue. But I live in reality where I am getting pounded by the hammer of debate.

EQ Deficit Threatens Healthcare Reform

2009-09-10T11:50:00.003-04:00

Diversity Dimension: All

Anyone who knows me would know that I am an emotional person with a lot of passion for justice, so I understand the emotional context from which Rep. Joe Wilson was coming from with his outburst last evening during the President's speech. Yet, my solid Catholic school upbringing and authoritative parents taught me a lot about respect and when to keep my mouth shut. I do not know anything about Representative Wilson but I heard Joe Scarborough on Morning Joe remark that he is typically a quiet guy. Perhaps this is true. What is certain is that he chose a bad time to speak up.

I have written a lot about the need for diversity competencies in order to manage the complexities of our current global reality. The current health care debate and the Rep.Wilson's outburst underscores the need for these competencies if we are going to continue to maintain our status as a leading nation. But let me tell you, I was seriously worried last evening about our capacity to do so witnessing how differences were managed by some of our civic leaders. More than ever their emotional intelligence (EQ) needs to be enhanced. Whatever the details of the health care bill, their ability to shape the future will be determined by how they interact with those with whom they most vehemently disagree. President Obama and Senator John McCain are roles model in this regard-- treating fierce opponents with respect. President Obama didn't react. Senator McCain denounced the action and called for an immediate apology.

No matter how much we know or think we know about the details of the health care reform bill, the content will have no meaning if the process is so disruptive. Effective process requires emotional intelligence from those participating in the change effort. This is a deficit area we need to pay close attention to and not merely label the disruptive process as the game of politics. No matter what the outcome for this reform, low EQ on the part of our civic leaders will threaten our future.

Raising Someone Up

2009-08-28T18:46:00.003-04:00

Dimension: All

It is minutes before the celebration of life memorial for Senator Ted Kennedy. As a African American and a Catholic I grew up in the age of the Kennedys and the three brothers were---well, wouldn't use the word, saints--but certainly icons. And very well respected ones at that. There were legends as they lived and legends in their passing. Senator Ted Kennedy no less than his other brothers.

Senator Ted Kennedy is a prime example of using privilege as a life skill. Whether it was civil rights, voting rights, gender, sexual orientation, or health care rights, Ted Kennedy worked from his up position to support the downs.

When I was in the convent, when there was work with not enough or no workers or a cause that needed support, the nuns would say, "If God wants the work done He will raise someone up to do it." I have no doubt God wants the work of providing universal healthcare completed. As the Senator is laid to rest we desperately need someone raised up to make sure it happens.

The Language of Diversity

2009-08-24T16:03:00.004-04:00

Dimension: All

I grew up speaking Spanglish with Ebonics. My mom's native language was Spanish and we lived in inner city Cleveland in a black working class neighborhood where most folks came from Alabama and Mississippi and spoke what academics then noted as Ebonics. After a few embarrassing mishaps with the English language at my all-white high school, I decided to master the language and majored in English in college. Later I taught English at the high school level to a lot of white kids. Although I understand grammar and syntax much better now it is not surprising to me that it does not solve the problem of communicating across differences.

There is much that is lost in translation in our county even among those of us who speak the same native tongue. It is not just because most Americans only speak English but much of the confusion is due to the increasing diversity in our society. We must now learn to speak the language of diversity.

Glenn Beck of Fox News has repeatedly called President Obama a racist with a "deep-seated hatred of white people." I believe he has also said this of Oprah. One age-old definition of racism is prejudice + power. President Obama undoubtedly holds the highest seat of power in our nation. Oprah is pretty powerful as well. I definitely do not agree with Beck but if he believes that President Obama and Oprah hate white people (defying most people's logic) then by Beck's "logic" they would be racists. Using the term racist is explosive. Perhaps Beck wanted his ratings to explode. Yet, understanding the language of diversity as I do, it is sometimes difficult to discern some one's intention. One can only speak to the impact. In this case, a very negative one for many people including a number of sponsors who have pulled the plug on their advertising.

Caster Semenya, South Africa's new 800-meter world champion, is now subject to questions about her gender because of her boyish looks and deep voice. For this case study, even DNA cannot provide us with answers since as many as 1% of the population have a different genetic pattern than simply xy or yy. We do not have the language to speak fully about gender identity. Perhaps those who are uncomfortable with women excelling in sports need to claim she must be man. Moving out of one's comfort zone is a pre-requisite for speaking the language of diversity.

Just as with learning any new language, the language of diversity requires practice. America is such a wonderful learning laboratory. We can only hope most of us will learn the language.

Healthcare--A Community Experience

2009-08-20T16:31:00.004-04:00

Dimension: Class

While I was in graduate school I created an exercise called "A Community Experience" to be used for a workshop on cultural competence that I was facilitating along with my advisor, Dr. Sandy Shulman. It is a basic have/have not exercise where participants are divided into 3 groups--the Sun, the Moon and the Stars--and given resources that must be traded, exchanged, bartered in order to achieve enough goods for everyone in their family group. There is also a competing goal of trying to garner more resources than any other group in order to win the prize (generally a bunch of money). Since 1984 when I first conducted the exercise, I have faciliated it literally hundreds of time with almost the same results every time. Despite the fact that during the directions I reinforce the terms that "there is more than enough for everyone collectively" the haves end up having more and the have nots either keep the status quo or get worse in an attempt to get better.

As I listen to the healthcare debate I am reminded of this exercise. I am not naive to the multiple issues or the political and cultural war that these issues present but I want to scream "there is more than enough for everyone collectively." People who already have the "public option" of medicare are afraid that they will lose what they have. People who are covered by their employers are afraid that they will be forced by that employer to a cheaper (and by its logic, a lesser) plan. Private insurers are afraid they will be put out of the business of making a profit on people who are sick. People with private insurers want it all--the best care, choice about providers, reduced or little out-of-pocket costs and no one interfering on how they spend on end-of-life care, sick care, wellness or elective surgery.

Just like in the Community Experience experience, while the haves take inventory of their resources, the have nots are still wondering how they get resources. In the simultated exercise we use paper plates, cups, chips and pretzels as resources. In real life, we are talking about medical care--literally life and death issues. We need to end the madness of the political and cultural wars and remember "there is more than enough for everyone collectively."

Cultural Links

2009-08-11T14:46:00.003-04:00

Dimension: All

Yesterday I attended Cultural Links, the 6th Annual Golf Outing sponsored by partnering organizations--American Jewish Committee, The Diversity Center of Northeast Ohio, Jewish Community Federation of Cleveland, and NAACP. The outing was founded by friends, Kevin Gregory and Michael Lisman to help build bridges among people of different backgrounds over a simple round of golf. They believed that a day on the links helped to foster the development of personal relationships that serve as the very foundation of our community. The funds go toward building bridges of understanding in the next generation by supporting youth diversity programs.

When the 57 golfers approached their 9th of 18 holes a thunderstorm began halting the game but not the interaction and the spirit of the day. Before announcing the prizes, Kevin Gregory spoke of the origins of the outing and his friendship with Michael Lisman. It was Racing Across the Lines: Changing Race Relations in action. No thunderstorm could dampen the the strength of those links.

What Americans Look Like

2009-08-05T10:02:00.005-04:00

Dimension: Race

Just hours ago, Laura Ling and Euna Lee landed on American soil, released after four months of captivity in North Korea. In June they were sentenced to 12 years of hard labor for illegally entering North Korean territory. As they descended the stairs of the plane, Laura Ling threw up her arms and put her hand over her heart when she saw her family. Euna Lee paused on the step and grabbed her knees as if to prevent herself from collapsing at the sight of her daughter. Our American sisters were home and as President Obama and former Vice President Al Gore stated, this is a day of rejoicing especially for the Ling and Lee families and for all Americans.

I am reading Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet by Jamie Ford. It tells the story of Henry Lee whose father in 1942 pinned a button on him that said, "I am Chinese" so that he would not be mistaken as Japanese and taken to the internment camps. Although Henry and his Japanese friend, Keiko, were both American they are still subject to racism because of their looks.

I remember when Kristi Yamaguchi, an American figure skater and 1992 Olympic Champion in women's singles was shunned by advertisers for endorsement because, as quoted by Bill Imada, "People like Kristi Yamaguchi don't represent, at least with marketers, the wholesome all-American image." Thankfully there was an outcry by many over this kind of thinking and it led us to explore, "What does an American look like?"

The answer is simple: America looks like the faces of Laura Ling and Euna Lee--faces of triumph, faces of joy, faces that say "now we stand here, home and free."

A Different View

2009-07-29T12:27:00.004-04:00

Dimension: Ability

I finally had the opportunity to watch The Little Couple last evening on TLC. I wrote about this couple in an earlier blog after seeing them on Oprah. The two episodes I watched were that of Bill brother's wedding and when Bill and Jen were separated for a few weeks due to Bill's business travel. It is hard not to put the adjective of cute to Jen--althought I imagine that adjective smacks of a label for most little people. So I pushed myself to be more specific about how I experienced her personality. She clearly is bright, articulate and all of those things one would expect from a physician but what I was grabbing for with "cute" was based on her positive energy, contagious spirit, genuine kindness (she must have said "thank you" a dozen times during each episode) and honest goodness that were so apparent it practically jumped from the screen. Bill is clearly a regular guy in the best sense of the word. How generous of them to share their lives with folks like me who need to be enlightened about what the world is like from those with a very different view.

Same 'ole conversation on race

2009-07-22T16:01:00.005-04:00

Dimension: Race

Yes, even I am getting a bit weary of commenting on race issues as opposed to other dimensions of diversity. But race makes the news so often...what can I say? This past weekend diversity news focused on the arrest of Professor Gates, Harvard Professor. He was actually cuffed and taken to the station for disorderly conduct when police came to his home to investigate a possible break-in (by him!). There are two sides to every coin and I have read the police report and comments from many bloggers...and it is the same, predictable script coming from both sides of the fence. It validates my point that until we develop diversity competencies for the Self 2.0--unraveling intention and impact; holding multiple realities; moving from certainty to curiosity; understanding and using privilege as a life skill; and quality decision making--the conversation will never change.

Who Moved the Race Teleprompter?

2009-07-20T10:12:00.004-04:00

Dimension: Race

A few news magazine programs featured the clip of the teleprompter that broke during one of President Obama's recent speeches. The question Vice President Biden posed months ago about what Obama would do without his teleprompter was finally answered--he continued with his message giving testimony to the fact that the origins of his message were in his mind and heart(crafted with a little help from some speech writers) and were not born out of a display device.

However, America seems to be without its race teleprompter since the election of Obama. In the 1950s and 1960s racism existed in all of its many forms and people were very clear on the status of race in America. In the 1990s progress had been made yet it remained clear that there was work to be done and many barriers yet to be removed. We had entered the door in many cases but there were only a few minorities at the table making decisions.

With the election of President Obama society removed the exclusion barrier--at least for men of color (for women of color and women in general the barrier still remains). Today, the status of race in America is more complex. We have new boundaries of the polarity--one end claims a post-racial society and at the other, an illusion that racism doesn't exist.

When the boundaries of the polarity were different with one end as a tolerant society and the other end being that racism exists, the boundaries were still in the racism camp. Today the boundaries are in the racism-free camp. That is a scary thing. With the former polarity there was collective understanding that racism existed.

The current "racism-free polarity" leaves black and Hispanic kids without a way to say that being excluded from a swim club is racist or black firefighters a way to make meaning of why all of them didn't pass a test (probability suggests that some had to have studied!). It gives permission to address the issue from only an individual perspective and not as a societal problem (study harder, pull yourself up from your bootstraps...). And it gives those who wish not to take responsibility an opportunity to deflect and blame society (I can't get a promotion [pass my class, get good grades, etc.} because I am black, Hispanic, native American, Asian...) In the post-racial society polarity, the voices are silent or inaudible when it comes to pointing out racism. In a post-racial society, at its best racism, does not exist, and at its worst, we are a tolerant society.

On July 16th, Obama addressed the NAACP at the Centennial Convention in New York city. He did not talk about a post-racial society and noted that racism exists today and structural inequality was a root cause. At the same time he put out a strong message for individual responsibility in determining one's destiny. We may have lost the collective teleprompter on race that acts a barometer for how one should act and what one should think but we can all pay close attention to the teleprompter within us that doesn't give any excuse for being less than who we are as a people and as a nation.

Oops, I Didn't Mean to be Racist

2009-07-12T19:07:00.004-04:00

Dimension: Race

Around 1965 the Starlings decided to move to Beachwood, Ohio. Mrs. Starling, my godmother, is what we used to call "light and bright and almost white." In fact, her physical characteristics were whiter than most whites. Mrs. Starling worked with the realtor alone until she narrowed it down the the house she thought would be perfect for the family and then brought coffee-complexion Dr. Starling to see the house. That is when everything changed...no more excited realtor, no more welcoming neighborhood. I believe it took legal action to get the house.

That was 1965, yet this past week a surburban Philadelphia swim club denied access to a group of black and hispanic children from a summer camp that had signed a contract to use the pool. Suddenly the pool could not accommmodate the large numbers (around 65 kids). I will wait for more facts because the club denies the cries of racism. Dr. and Mrs. Starling are now citizens of heaven and from their thrones I am sure they are looking down at the swim club and thinking, "this sounds so familiar."

Somebody's Still Got a Problem

2009-06-30T13:45:00.004-04:00

Dimension: Race

The Supreme Court has set a new standard for the role race now plays in hiring and promotion in their recent decision on Ricci v. DeStefano. The decision addressed the issue of whether or not the white firefighters should have been promoted (they should have); yet it does not address the issue of what happens when one group of people (in this case, Blacks) are excluded. The question that remains is at the core of the affirmative action debate: When is it okay to discriminate against one group in order to remedy discrimination against another group?

If we did a root analysis for why blacks tend to be excluded in cases like this one, I believe it would trace back to a number of social ills affecting blacks. But at this juncture is where I agree with Bill Cosby. We need to get our act together as Black people. At first blush when I heard about this case, I was convinced that the test must be culturally loaded. A test can be structurally fair but culturally loaded. An example of this is the classic Wechsler Intelligence Scales that routinely ranked black and Hispanic kids lower in the section on social situations and common concepts because of their responses. Earlier versions of the test were found to be culturally loaded because social situations vary across cultures and what might be considered a common concept for one culture may not be so common for another. The test was culturally loaded to favor whites. Whites were the norm for test reliability and validity.

That was not the case for the firefighter test. The city of New Haven gave special consideration to this concern and included Blacks and Hispanics in designing the questions. Yet, after taking the test, of the 19 firefighters who qualified for promotion two were Hispanic and none were black. Now, maybe if they had not included minorities in the design process and there were no people of color at all who passed the test I might be suspicious and question this outcome. The outcome is reasonable (but obviously still debatable since it was a 5-4 decision and previous courts had ruled otherwise).

The bottom line is that we are left with the poignant fact that no blacks passed this test. I know of a similar cases with similar outcomes. It leads me go back to examining disparities in education, poverty, single parenting--all social issues with disparate effect on blacks.

Today it is much, much harder to prove racial discrimination on the part of an employer. The bar has now been raised for black individuals to no longer have any excuses for performing at substandard levels or for not taking personal responsibility when we fall short. This will be a different kind of education for many blacks. We still need acknowledgment that racism and white privilege does exist. It has just gotten harder to begin with that as the direction for solving the problem.

Religious Right in God's Seat

2009-06-30T12:35:00.004-04:00

Dimension: Religion

The last I recall from my Catholic elementary school religion classes is that in the final analysis when I die it will just be me and God reviewing my life and tallying up the score. No other person or institution will be present or in on the conversation. After I die I imagine myself kneeling before God during my orientation to the after life. She is very close to me--there is no space between us. She, who is love, showers me with love (herself) and then I know I am in heaven.

So, I am pretty confused about how religion and moral judgment on personal matters are even a part of the political discussion on Governor Sanford's affair. Sure it is great soap opera material having a governor go AWOL for days--being compelled to be with his Argentinian lover (that is some magnetism), but we are getting entirely too much information about his affair and way too much judgment about it for my taste. If he lied and was unfaithful to the people of South Carolina or if there is behavioral evidence for the effect on this affair on his ability to govern, then they should vote him out. If he lied and was unfaithful to his wife then she gets to cast her vote if he is in or out of her life. In my mind, these are two separate issues. I know having an affair speaks to character but character is the result of so much more than one set of behaviors. I am not saying that affairs are okay or even private matters because affairs do have a ripple effect. My point is that we need a more robust and substantive criteria for defining character. The last I checked, no one is perfect.

Call me minding my own values and not sitting in the judgment seat of God but I am counting on God to tally up the entire score card for me--She and no one else.

Morality in the Movie Box

2009-06-28T19:42:00.003-04:00

Dimension: Race

I just returned home from Miami and the American Black Film Festival (ABFF). A great festival with a lot of amazing talent on the horizon. We only walked out of one film because the plot twisted more than a pretzel and made absolutely no sense. We applauded many more for the characterization, cinematography and acting. Still, I and others were struck by the reoccurring themes of most of the films--incest, violence, drugs, closeted gay/lesbian lovers concomitant with devastating homophobia, and abortion. These are strong themes and I imagine filmmakers, (I am not one), look for strong themes to evoke feelings and emotions from their audiences. These themes do evoke feelings that unfortunately often work with the psyche to lead us to believe that violence, incest, and abuse are cultural norms in the black community.

One festival favorite, Blue, was loaded with violence and more murders than a season of The Sopranos. I liked the movie very much but was disturbed by the absence of any moral voice. The conflict that the characters experienced had nothing to do with right or wrong but more with their personalized ethical norms based on individual needs and wants. Maybe it was too much to ask for a little hint of universal morality...after all it was just a movie.

I found it ironic that the same audience gave a standing ovation to Pastor Brown, a likable but very predictable story of a family's redemption, particularly one character, a strip dancer with a theology degree (yes, there are strip dancers with divinity degrees; you must know a least two or three). She later contemplates taking over her father's large congregation in Atlanta which causes quite a stir and, of course, presents the basic conflict of the story. Pastor Brown had all of my favorite gospel songs and the audience had a virtual sing-a-long. Remind you...the same audience that applauded and laughed at the murders and cheered the numerous f..k you and m.f. (sorry I still can't even write out the words) of the previous films.

Pastor Brown evoked a great deal of emotion from the audience (my sister actually cried and my husband thought it was the best film of the festival). I must admit I am a little confused how we, as Blacks, can be the most religious folks (defined as church going) yet there seems to be a disconnect between the message and the themes that are so often applauded in other films and sadly has come to be known as characteristic of the black culture (I know it is in other cultures as well, but I am just talking about my people now).

Films tell a story--one that is often compartmentalized. But life is not neatly categorized in a genre and morality cannot be either.

The Permanent Task Force

2009-06-11T18:44:00.004-04:00

Dimension: Race

In New York last month, Omar Edwards, a young African-American plain-clothed police officer chasing a suspect, was the victim of "friendly fire" of another police officer. The New York Times reports that Black police officers who work under cover or in plain clothing are at a disproportionate risk of being shot by white colleagues who mistake them for criminals. There are no statistics to determine exactly how often this happens but clearly one time is too many. To address this issue Governor Patterson has commissioned a task force to study the problem and city officials will give higher priority to training to try to prevent friendly fire incidents.

I applaud these efforts; yet, I do not believe that there is a task force on this planet or training session conducted by the experts of experts that could completely eliminate this problem. The task force would have to set policy and design practices that would completely eliminate all racial stereotypes from our educational system and media--and they would need to re-write American history. The training would virtually have to remove the amygdala from the participants' brains to eliminate all the social loadings and breakdown associative barriers.

Short of doing those interventions, we still have a problem. It is called the human condition. So that is where we begin. We start by owning the fact that we hold these associations and that all of us are, unfortunately, efficient products of racism in this society. We may not be able to re-write history or remove the amygdala but we can learn diversity competencies that will support us to use our self as a tool for behavioral change--our own and others. This requires life-long, continual learning that goes way beyond a task force or a training session.

The New Meaning of the Sandwich Generation

2009-06-10T10:14:00.000-04:00

Dimension: Age

My 83 year-old Mom is continually amazed by technology. The amazement takes the form of fear--not the kind of fear that is rooted in a fight response but the fear that is rooted in the flight response that instructs her to flee. When she is talking on the phone to my sister in Chicago and my sister faxes or sends an email attachment of a picture or document she wants my mother to see, my mother literally recoils in fear of it when I hand her the paper during their conversation. "Where did this come from? Oh, my...Nancy was just talking about that." She gingerly accepts the paper as if it is an explosive. The technology that serves her lifestyle is the phone. She is on the phone constantly--communicating with all of our family and her friends. She has her own Twitter system. If I am getting ready to call my sister in Chicago or Atlanta she can literally tell me where they are and what they are doing. "You won't get her. She went to work out." "She's on her way back from church. Try her cell phone."

To my 23 year-old niece the phone might as well be an old telegraph machine. The phone's primary use is for texting and getting on the internet. Calling and expecting to get her to answer the phone and have a conversation is a futile action. If I need something from her I put it on Facebook or text her. I know how to text and use Facebook just enough to communicate a message. If I need to communicate with Generation X or Y I have found that this is the most effective way to do it. For my niece, blackberries, Facebook, Twitter, Flicker are like the phone is to my mother. It reflects her lifestyle and her social world.

As a Baby Boomer, I am stuck having to straddle the worlds of phone, faxes, voice mail, snail mail as well as texting, Facebook, Twitter, Flicker. It is overwhelming. We are the sandwich generation in more ways than one.

Waiting for Rights

2009-06-10T09:27:00.000-04:00

Dimension: Sexual Orientation

House Bill 1283 has been introduced amending title 10, United States Code, to enhance the readiness of the Armed Forces by replacing the current policy concerning homosexuality in the Armed Forces, referred to as "Don't Ask, Don't Tell", with a policy of nondiscrimination on the basis of sexual orientation. "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" is inherently discriminatory,let alone, psychologically and morally unhealthy. This policy needs to be overturned and I believe it is just a matter of time.

Yet, if you are gay or lesbian, waiting for your basic rights is not easy. It is somewhat like starving someone for weeks and then inviting them to the all-night buffet on a cruise and asking them to wait until morning for breakfast before they eat anything.

I believe Obama is being strategic in how this policy is overturned. I am not a politician (nor do I ever care to be) but I do know diversity management. Forwarding diversity agendas are ever so much built on strategy as any other major initiative in business or politics. Unfortunately for those for whom it impacts, diversity strategy is often in tension with advocacy for achieving results. When Rachel Maddow (whom I hold great respect for and whose program I love) questions whether or not Obama is the fierce advocate for gay rights that he professes himself to be because he is not being more aggressive in his positon about HB1283, it is understandable. Yet, I do not think that Obama's stated position was just campaign rhetoric to garner votes from the G/L/B/T community and their allies. I believe (or at least hope) that he is just being strategic about how "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" is overturned.

We tend to believe it was pure advocacy that propelled the civil rights movement to positive change but effective strategy was at the forefront. I believe strategy is at the forefront for moving forward this bill as well. Still, waiting for rights while those in privilege strategize leaves a starving population without needed substance.

Women Being Women

2009-06-08T18:57:00.000-04:00

Dimension: Gender

I belong to several professional women's group--some that are for women of color and others that are predominately white. The common bond between these groups is the strong support system that so easily gets created. Women helping women through job losses, divorces, raising kids and grandkids, illnesses, and milestone birthdays. I sat with a group of these women yesterday after a meeting--purse and keys in hand attempting to leave over an hour before I actually did. What kept me there was the link, the connectedness, the bonding. I do not know if men experience this kind of bonding in their groups. My husband is not the group-joining-kind-of-guy and my male friends aren't either. I do witness a bonding in the religious orders of my priest friends but that bonding is something different. These men truly care about one another but their exchanges are more reporting out to each other than what I would call sharing. They simply tell each other what is going on in their lives with little reference to feelings or even aspirations. They do a lot of problem solving and give a lot of advice and I guess you could call that support. Yet it is very different than the conversation I had with my women friends yesterday.

I know that there are googabs (meaning a whole lot) of empirical studies about gender differences and their impact in the workplace and on the quality of our lives. It makes me once again wonder how different the United States would be if there was true gender equality with our political system, businesses, educational systems, and faith institutions incorporating women's way of knowing into the conversation and ultimately influencing decisions and actions. I hope some day I no longer have to just imagine.

The Self 2.0

2009-06-03T09:59:00.001-04:00

Dimension: All

Last night on the special on Obama's White House, Brian Williams asked the President if while surfing the channels to land on ESPN if he ever stopped and listened to any of the debates about his presidency on any of the news programs. He responded that he did not...largely because he didn't learn anything new. What was being said by Pat Buchanan, Keith Olbermann, and others was predictable, so it didn't change his thinking.

I began to think about that point. It answered for me why I get so frustrated watching these programs sometimes (I love to watch them). I attributed it to the fact that they featured the same individuals repeatedly who represented pretty fixed worldviews. Occasionally an analytical thinker like the Eugene Robinson, Dr. Brzezinski or Howard Fine joined these shows and I perk up, listen and learn something. In my humble opinion, these individuals are not only analytical in their thinking style but their thinking demonstrates the kind of diversity competency in thought and expression that is characteristic of the Self 2.0.

Frans Johansson, author of the Medici Effect, discusses how associative barriers--connections in our thinking that cause us to link groups of ideas in a set pattern--inhibits our ability to think broadly and to be innovative. This is a difficult thing to do and as a Baby Boomer the breaking down process is happening slowly. I believe it is worth doing for we could all benefit from breaking down associative barriers that are not useful for advancing us as a nation or achieving the personal transformation that is necessary for us to navigate our increasingly multicultural world. We cannot break down these associative barriers by yourself. We need each other to do so.

It is not just up to the Obama administration and world leaders to respond to the conditions and crises we face. Each of us is called to refashion ourselves in the context of this era of transformation. What is called for is a transformation of self that is far more multi-layered, pervasive and integrated in our thinking and behaviors--the Self 2.0. This only happens with the creative tension that comes from gently bumping up against differences--especially differences in our own thinking. By different thinking I do not mean merely accepting the viewpoint of someone else but expanding our own thinking to surface the nuances, being willing to release the need to be right and trying on the many possible ideas for their fit--not just how it fits for me but for how it fits for others who are different from me.

Maybe this is what Judge Sotomayor meant when she said that she could reach a better decision by incorporating her social identity into her decision making. If we thought in this manner and each acted out of the Self 2.0, there would many "better" decisions to place on the common table--each one decision informing us in a different way and thus leading to innovation and a better world for all.

Old-Fashioned Thinking Caps

2009-06-01T13:23:00.000-04:00

Dimension: Sexual Orientation

I read an article this morning on the survival of newspapers and the importance of the free press to government because it is an "indispensable check on abuses of power." With the advent of the Internet and harboring an outdated business model, many newspapers have literally folded over the past few years. So many people get their news from the Internet through lots of different sources--some are professionally trained individuals, some are just folks stating their opinion. I think this diversity of thought and expression is the best assurance for a check on abuses of power. I know that there will always be a need for trained, observers of events to write them in an unbiased, objective manner but I haven't read that kind of journalism in a long time. Maybe because there is much greater complexity in our current reality and it is hard to write "objectively." So, I vote for getting as many voices as possible on the topic in order to understand it. But I would also want to see support for educating the public (starting in schools at a very early age) to possess divergent thinking and adaptability skills. To understand sexual orientation, a major shift in our thinking style from one that is dichotomous and linear to a thinking style that is multi-varied and layered is required.

I believe that most people have not actually carefully thought through the issues behind Proposition 8--just as they have given little thought to sexual orientation in general. Most heterosexual individuals have never wondered how or why they are heterosexual--they just accept it as "normal." I listened to Dr. Diamond, author of Sexual Fluidity: Understanding Women's Love and Desire on the Oprah show talk about the 1948-1953 Kinsey Scale (a scale that I have talked about in many workshops usually to a bug-eyed audience who cannot believe people are not just heterosexual or homosexual). Other guests on that show discussed their experiences with understanding sexual orientation--their own journey giving testimony to the complexity of it.

I also read a brief article in America magazine today about the Miami priest Fr. Cutie (known as Padre Oprah) and his struggle with celibacy and the former Bishop of San Pedro, now President of Paraguay, who admitted he fathered a child while serving as Bishop. Neither of these transgressions, the article's author states, is an indictment of priestly celibacy but just testimony to "the fallen nature of human beings." I agree that the transgressions are not an indictment of priestly celibacy but rather I believe it speaks to the our lack of understanding of sexuality in general and sexual orientation in specific, rather than explaining their sexual expressions simply as "the fallen nature of human beings."

Understanding sexuality and sexual orientation (which also requires understanding gender that is intricately linked) requires a different thinking style than simply introjecting or swallowing whole --the thinking style that our educational system, government, and faith traditions seem to ask of us. Much like newspapers where we can only accept or reject static, read-only pages our knowledge of sexual orientation is outdated and requires more interaction to understand it--more like the web 2.0 where we can respond, edit, collaborate, create and facilitate knowledge.

Proposition 8 will make its way to the supreme court and sadly most Americans will either accept or reject the judges' conclusion as one aspect of the truth about sexual orientation. We need to seek our own answers--after all, isn't that what each individual has to do in the long run? We get a bit lazy when it comes to thinking--especially about the evolving, dynamic aspects of diversity such as sexual orientation. It is time that we change those old thinking caps. New thinking hats are now in vogue.

America's Experiment

2009-05-31T13:39:00.000-04:00

Dimension: All but especially race and gender

I began to wonder this morning as I half-listened (I was getting ready for Mass) to The Roundtable with George Stephanopoulos as he and his guests talked about the Sotomayor nomination and our post-racial society, how can we ever be "post" any dimension of diversity until we have actually lived the awareness of the impact of that dimension. In other words, how can we be post-race when we haven't really examined fully the impact of race in our society. We know about race but we really haven't focused on its impact in a way that informs us about our beliefs and actions. Because of the visibility of race and gender everyone brings a host of social loadings to the table about what it means to be a certain race and what it means to be a man or a woman. In American society we have normalized the experiences of white, heterosexual, Christian, married males to be synonymous with what it means to be an American. Rarely do we unravel what that means and how it differs from other group identities. And most importantly, the effect that using that one group as the norm has on the quality of our decisions as a nation. Don't get me wrong, white male experience is a legitimate and very needed part of the equation--but it is not the total picture nor should it be the standard for evaluating the human experience.

When you conduct an experiment you do a pre-test or a pre-measure then you do some kind of action then you do a post-test or post-measure. The "post" part only makes sense if you do some kind of meaningful and significant action in between. I do believe we have made great strides with race as evidenced by the Obama election...so a test to see if we are in a post-racial society would be to determine if that action has made any significant difference in our thinking and behavior. Given the reaction to the Sotomayor nomination, I would say we still have some experimenting to do. We need to experiment with divergent thinking styles, heightening our awareness about ourselves as cultural beings and its impact on our behavior and thinking, understanding privilege and using it as a life skill, moving from certainty to curiosity, analyzing context, marrying intention with impact, and so forth.

I believe these are the kind of skill sets Obama demonstrates and really serves as a great role model in this arena. America is in an "experimental stage" and I use the word here in the Gestalt theory context--an experiment is a "safe emergency." In other words, we perform our actions and make decisions with focused, informed intention, heightened awareness of the impact across all group identities and with just enough risk-taking to enable progress to be made.

Today, in the Christian tradition, is the feast of Pentecost which celebrates the descent of the Holy Spirit upon the followers of Christ. As the Spirit descended, disciples and apostles marveled that they could understand one another despite the fact that everyone spoke in their native language. That is real Holy Ghost power. We need to pray for that kind of power. I am excited about America's experiment and trust that it will bring us to closer to the more perfect union we profess to desire as Americans.

Sticks and Stones and Words Do Hurt Us

2009-05-29T19:20:00.000-04:00

Dimension: Thought and Expression

I am working on an article on the skills that are necessary for individuals to be successful in navigating our increasingly multicultural world. I'm calling it the transformation to the Self 2.0. The Self 2.0 moves from a linear, sequential, logical thinking style of the Self 1.0 to the thinking style of the Self 2.0 that is cyclical, layered, and nuanced. It doesn't mean that the thinking style of the Self 1.0 is no longer needed--it just means that to understand the complexities of our global society it will require this kind of thinking. The adage, "if you only have a hammer everything looks like a nail" applies here. If you only have one thinking style and you apply it to everything--even when the environment around you requires something different--your world will appear to be the same as it always has been.

I watch a lot of the shows on MSNBC--Morning Joe, Ed Show, Countdown with Keith Olbermann, Rachel Maddow. My husband watches a lot of the shows on Fox...I can't name them but I see glimpses of the shows when I enter his office or the space that I fondly call "the cave." On both networks, that largely represent opposing political views, I experience (for the most part) linear, sequential, logical thinking...And using a lot of labels--namely liberals, conservatives, and an occasional socialist. I understand they need to talk in sound bites on TV but I would want to challenge the hosts and quests of these shows (especially Morning Joe which I generally find to be smart conversation) not to use the word liberal or conservative for a week...okay, how about one day. Challenging oneself (and I include myself) to use words that are descriptive rather than just using a label that is inherently evaluative (especially liberal and conservative that are so overused and emotionally laden) will support true dialogue. Most people in their identity and in their behaviors cannot be neatly labeled. As a result, labels become like sticks and stones (that hurt our bones) and their use render us limited in our ability to make meaning out of our multicultural world .

Multiple Realities in Action

2009-05-26T19:00:00.000-04:00

Dimension: Race and Gender

I am over the moon excited with President's Obama's pick for supreme court justice, Sonia Sotomayor. She, once again, proves the theory that when a minority or a woman (and in this case a minority woman) achieves something they far exceed the standard bar. Judge Sotomayor brings more judicial experience than any other sitting supreme court judge when they were appointed. She was top of her class at Princeton. Republicans and political pundits are screaming racists (you can't make this stuff up)because she said that her life experiences as a woman and an Hispanic would make her have a different perspective--and therefore better at making her decisions. They are chewing on that quote like a dog with an old bone. I imagine she meant that she could contribute better and that she could bring empathy. Even if that is not what she meant, I believe that her comment is true and based on a new reality that is far more inclusive. We are witnessing multiple realities in action. She will bring a different perspective and that just might be better for all Americans. After all, white males have not had to come out and actually say that they believe they are better, they have acted like it since the beginning of time and proved their privilege by their actions and decisions. Sharing that privilege is long overdue.

In Praise of Uncertainty and Doubt

2009-05-17T20:34:00.000-04:00

Dimension: All

I listened to part of President Obama's commencement address at the University of Notre Dame and some of the commentary on CNN today. Last evening I watched Saturday Night Live with Amy and Seth's segment, Really, addressing University of Arkansas' decision not to bestow an honorary doctorate to President Obama. Ironically, Amy and Seth made much more sense to me and showed more abilty to communicate effectively across differences than some of the CNN commentators who remained doggedly wedded to their viewpoints.

Communicating effectively across differences requires releasing the need to be right. It doesn't mean you can't hold a position or have principles or values--just that you have to come to the discussion honoring the fact that there are multiple realities not hierarchical realities. I recall reading somewhere about Hirschberg's Certainty principle, a scientific principle that states there is only 99% certain on even the surest of realities (or something like that...I am not exactly sure!). Anyway, the essence is that there is always a chance that we may be wrong. I am also reminded that doubt (in the sense of humility) is a virtue and a necessary mindset for dialogue. Uncertainty and doubt support us to move toward new ways of knowing and thinking.

Pro-life or Pro-choice are not opposite and distinct realities. As my friend, Donna, says no one is pro-death. Personally, I am thrilled that we have a President who recognizes this complexity and demonstrates leadership in effective manifestation of uncertainty and doubt.

Beloved Community

2009-04-30T14:48:00.000-04:00

Dimension: Race

After not hearing the term "beloved community" in over a decade, two references to Dr. King's sermon at Holt Street Baptist Church crossed my path this week. One time as part of a diversity strategy meeting and then another while reading a reference to it in an article in America, a Catholic national weekly magazine. Since it was the February 2, 2009 issue that I had picked up randomly from a number of back issues I had intended to get through, I thought it ironic that I was reading this article days after discussing this concept at a meeting. I do not believe anything happens by chance. I also believe that we can make any meaning we wish out of coincidence so I have decided that Dr. King's proclamation that the end product of reconciliation and redemption is "the creation of the beloved community" is indeed affirmation of my quest for encouraging and promoting friendships that cross racial lines.

I am in the process of painstakingly rewriting Racing Across the Lines: Changing Race Relations through Friendships for re-release this year. In that book I propose that until what we do after 9-5 and on weekends includes some diversity race relations in this country will not improve. We have surpassed the exclusion bar with the election of President Obama but we have "miles to go before we sleep" on this topic. I do not know how else we create beloved communities but through friendship. As Shareefah Sabur stated during the last focus group for the re-write of the book..." When we come together for a common purpose...when we look at new ideas we can build communities and with those new communities there is a different diversity than we would not have had before. There is alignment happening that was previously around race but that is now around new ideas." I hope that one of these new ideas is that we can cross racial lines in friendship...that we can socialize and live in the same neighborhoods together...that we can realize another aspect of Dr. King's dream--that of the beloved community.

Privilege or Progress?

2009-04-16T18:46:00.000-04:00

Dimension: All

I have been having a lot of conversation with my diversity colleagues about the future of diversity work in organizations. Diversity entered organizations through the door of affirmative action and representation remains one of the many lens or approaches that can be used to address differences. Representation literally meant that Hispanics were represented and that person got to speak for all Hispanics; a black person for all blacks; a woman for all women; an Asian for all Asians and so forth. This is a basic approach to managing diversity but for many organizations it is considered the finish line once the quotas were in the door or at the table. Today, even more so than in the 60s, it is impossible for one person to represent the diversity of thought and expression embodied in any race or culture. We need diversity to be integrated into all of our practices and representation of diverse groups to continually be a part of the conversation and decision-making process.

Yet, I found myself getting mildly annoyed when Joe Scarborough and Pat Buchanan discussed, with assured authority, the perspectives of Hispanics on immigration on the MSNBC news magazine program "Morning Joe." Not a Hispanic person around the set to weigh in on the topic. I don't know. ..Should I have been annoyed that they were speaking for Hispanics or should I have been pleased to see individuals that were not affected by the issue tell someone else's story and see this as an example of the desired outcome for diversity? Hadn't I always said that we would know that we had made progress on a diversity issue when a group that is not represented by those issues got just as involved, annoyed, or upset about an issue as the affected group? Yet, I am still annoyed by that segment. It smacked more of white male privilege to me than progress.

Uniting the United States

2009-04-06T19:33:00.000-04:00

Dimension: Sexual Orientation

I read this weekend that Iowa now joins Massachusetts and Connecticut in making same sex marriage legal. Iowa! I admit I do have my stereotypes of Iowa as vast farmland and people whose homes and families are like the Waltons from the 70s TV show. I think I have been to Iowa once for a conference but I did not ever imagine that it would be Iowa as a leading state for these rights. Yes, California, New York, maybe even Illinois...but not Iowa. That is some victory. You could see it in the faces of the couples pictured with the article. Joyful, excited, hopeful... If Iowa then maybe Washington, Oregon, Nevada, Arizona, Utah, Montana, Wyoming, Colorado, Texas, South Dakota, Nebraska, Kansas, Oklahoma, Mississippi, Louisiana, Alabama, Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, Virginia, Maryland, Florida, New Jersey, Maine, New Hampshire, Delaware, West Virginia, Vermont, Hawaii, Alaska, Rhode Island...You get my point. We would united in another significant and meaningful way because all people would have the right to unite in love legally.

I am not naive. I understand this would create division as well. I know that division was created when women and black Americans were given full rights. History informs us that innovators and change agents always lead such efforts. Over time and with patience we glean insights from the pragmatists, improvements from the skeptics and discover shared values with traditionalists. People come around to accept differences. People can change their thinking. It will take time to unite us but there is no better time to make that change than the present.

Opportunity Walk becomes a Run

2009-04-03T14:41:00.000-04:00

Dimension: All

I had the experience last evening of facilitating the Opportunity Walk exercise with a group of professionals. The Opportunity Walk is an exercise that explores the notion of the level playing field and "pulling oneself up by your bootstraps" in America. Participants line up and then move forward or backward depending on their match with a stated criteria. There are many variations of this exercise and over the years I have added criteria so that it represents the Big 8 diversity dimensions. The discussion that pursues after the walk is the "meat" of the experience. Frozen in their spot people talk to one another about their "place" or "position" in America based on opportunity--some that they had no control over and others that they could control. It dawned on me during the discussion that I had either participated in or facilitated this exercise now for over 20 years. I was struck by how different the conversation of past two years has been from the previous 18+. I noted more women and people of color in the front lines and even a few white men in the middle. One African American woman eloguently stated how her placement in the front was largely due to the sacrifices and values of her parents. She became choked up with her gratitude for them. Another friend and colleague, who is a white man, proposed that the walk would be very different if we did this on a global scale. He encouraged me to shape the exercise in different modules that would reflect the many facets of our lived experience. With the same group of individuals participating in different modules you could see how for some modules white men might be in the back.

Facilitating the Opportuntiy Walk exercise today (along with other things happening on the world stage) strongly supports, in my opionion, the major shift in thinking and behaving in our culture that has occurred. The Self 2.0 has emerged that supports Diversity 2.0. We have to integrate more in our knowing and thinking and thus our behavior must change. It must continue to change at an even faster pace than that of the pace of a couple of decades if we wish continue as a diversity affirming society. The opportunity walk must be a the opportunity run.

A Community of Faith

2009-04-03T13:52:00.000-04:00

Dimension: Religion

On April 1st I attended the Interfaith Seder 2009 Passover 5769 at Anshe Chesed Fairmount Temple in Beachwood, Ohio along with a group of women who have dubbed ourselves, The Women's Diversity Group. Marcia Wexberg, one of our group members, invited us to attend and Marcia Levine was our host for the evening. Rabbis Arturo Kalfus and Joshua Caruso and Cantor Sarah Sager were most welcoming to the large, racially and generationally-mixed group that attended. They were most enthusiastic about sharing with us the traditions and beliefs of Jewish life and culture. They made it easy to pick up their energy and appreciate tradition. They lovingly took us through the Haggadah, the service book that tells the story of the Israelites' liberation from slavery to Egypt. I had attended a Seder meal before but never one that was lead by Rabbis and that took place at a Temple. This experience was far more authentic. The authenticity and spirit of the leaders made all the different races and faith traditions one community. I learned. I was engaged. I was inspired.

Post Racial Society--What does it Mean?

2009-03-31T09:57:00.000-04:00

Dimension: Race

I heard three times this week references about America as now being a post-racial society. Usually it is in reference to the election of Obama and the new benchmark for race that has now been set. I believe it will take some time before we unravel the meaning of race in this historic election but what I know today is that we all have a race. Yes, even White people. Because of the visibility of race we can never be color blind. We do something with the what we see and the feelings--positive or negative--that are evoked when we interact with others from different races. Especially for People of Color there is a sense of belonging that comes from that shared group identity. Race exists and race matters. I do believe Obama's election has removed the bar on exclusion as a standard for race relations. If this was our nation's goal then it clearly does not live up to the American ideals of freedom, equality and the pursuit of happiness. I believe the jury is still out on how we understand and evaluate race relations in America today. Not excluding does not assume inclusion.

Can Blacks Be Racist? Old Question that Needs a New Response

2009-03-27T14:46:00.000-04:00

Dimension: Race
Listening to World Have Your Say on NPR today one of the callers in the response to the question can blacks be racist gave what to me seemed to be an outdated, limited definition of racism. I have heard it a thousand times: Blacks (or other people of color) can't be racist because we do not hold the power. I understand what that means--we do not have control over systems and institutions that effect people's lives. Yet, today I personally know many Blacks with a lot of power over systems and institutions. I see blacks as law and policy makers. Certainly there are not as many as whites in these positons, but representation in these areas is not absent. We now have someone who is Black holding the highest seat of power in our country, the Presidency. This tells me it is time to re-examine what is meant by institutional racism. How many blacks in high places does it take to say it doesn't exist or to re-examine how it may (or may not) still be present in our society today?

Ask, Listen and Don't Tell

2009-03-26T18:56:00.000-04:00

Dimension: Race

Last night I went to hear Peggy McIntosh speak on white privilege at Baldwin Wallace College. I was amazed at how this veteran both in years and experience was able to keep the attention of primarily traditional, college-aged students without any technology. Dr. McIntosh shared with the audience, in a voice of a kindergarten teacher during story hour, her journey to discover the meaning of white privilege in her life and the writing of the now classic article, White Privilege:Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack over 20 years ago. I was also amazed at how relevant her article is today as it was during my graduate school years when the article was copied and quoted like the Bible.

This week I facilitated a workship where a young white man told me after the session that he appreciated that I began the session by saying that everyone has a race. Seems like such an obvious concept. Yet, he had recently been told that white wasn't a race and he didn't have one. Dr. McIntosh related that she was told something similar in her presentation. My experience has shown me that those of us on the other side of privilege regardless of the dimension, feel that it is our obligation and right to enlighten and instruct those in privilege about their status.

I am struck by how Dr. McIntosh came to her conclusion about white privilege by making conscious what was in her subconscious and once she had this awareness she connected the dots to her everyday experience. No one told her about it in a workshop. Late at night, she entered her insights in a notebook until she came up with the list that when published had over 40 revelations.

We often work to educate, reason and sell diversity rather than join, process and engage others. When I first began doing diversity work I was often tired and frustrated from trying to educate, reason, and sell. It took me some years and some re-tooling to understand that to join with others, engage them in the work and process all of it with them was a much more effective and less exhausting method for understanding diversity.

Dr. McIntosh's working paper was first rejected because it had no footnotes or citations. Twenty-one years later it remains the most frequently purchased manuscript from Wellesley Collage Center for Research on Women. That to me is proof that we need to continue to make space and create climates for diversity learning to take place from within. The message is more convincing and the messenger better converted.

The Real Deficit

2009-03-22T12:10:00.000-04:00

Dimension: Class

While in graduate school working on my dissertation I needed some extra cash so decided to clean houses. I had a lot of experience cleaning from my convent days and found the act therapeutic. So it wasn't much of a stretch for me, in an effort to reduce spending in this financial crunch, to decide to get rid of the cleaning service. After I completed my doctorate I feel into that category of people who had more money than time and have had a cleaning service for over 20 years now. Yesterday, on hands and knees, I washed our bathroom floor noticing for the first time the cracks in the tile and the holes in the grout. Funny, from standing and walking on it, the floor still looked brand new.

As I scrubbed the toilet, sinks, tub and showers I thought about the 24 high school students I had met that morning. They were in a Saturday Academy sponsored by a team of African American business leaders who created this "Scholars Program" to support teens in their careers. Rosalind Thompson, a friend and colleague, noticed during a "Boys Talk" and "Girls Talk" session that these students could use some emotional support. She asked that I come to talk to them about coping skills. I agreed and dug back into my clinical notes for information on coping.

Not far into the presentation the energy of the students shifted from jovial banter about their stresses to muted grumblings about the lack of social supports in their lives. Every coping technique I offered was met with a "been there, done that." Perhaps most disturbing was the unanimous agreement that they had few if no adults to turn to to discuss their issues. I decided to abandon the rest of the lesson plan and let them talk. From their perspectives, their issues were either minimized, over processed or ignored. Or if they demonstrated any kind of maturity they were overloaded with responsibilities that exceeded their ability to respond effectively. At any rate, they had a great deal of unmet emotional needs and could only turn to each other for support--truly the blind leading the blind.

After the students left, I processed this phenomenon along with the leaders of the group who quickly began to restructure the programming in the upcoming weeks to address this need. I applaud their efforts in being so responsive. We were all a bit overwhelmed at the extent and intensity of the need. It was one that could never be addressed with money. It was a good reminder to me of what these teens need most--adults who care and listen.

Just like I didn't notice the cracks in my bathroom floor until I cleaned it myself, I didn't see the cracks in these bright, energetic students when I first went into the room. There is a lot to gain from keeping it real--whether it is in cleaning my own house or abandoning a lesson plan. In this economic downturn, I want to remember that it doesn't cost a dime to listen and care.

Getting Our Platinum Card

2009-03-20T09:43:00.000-04:00

Dimension: Race

Last evening we completed the last planned session of a series of dinner discussions on race held at the home of Cleveland YWCA Executive Director, Barbara Danforth. Barbara had encouraged her staff to extend themselves in a project to eliminate racism. Barbara choose to model her request by inviting a group of 18 diverse women to her home to share a meal and discuss race relations. My book, Racing Across the Lines: Changing Race Relations through Friendship, was used as the basis for the discussion so Barbara invited me to facilitate the conversation. I was pleased to do so but even more thrilled to meet some really great women and spend some time with some great women that I already knew. An added bonus was my increased learning and the insights gained from our discussions.

Yesterday's session led me to consider the next level of evaluation for race relations in America. We did an exercise called "In My World" where colored beads representing the various races are placed in a clear cup according to different categories that make up our everyday life experience: neighbors, best friend, social groups, where we shop, our physician, author of books we read, and so forth. We marveled at the lack of diversity in our cups--although it goes without saying that all of these women are diversity-affirming individuals.

We discussed why many of our cups were so monoracial or biracial--often the split being aligned with our professional world and our personal life. Marcia eloquently named her white privilege and explained how it works in her every day life. Like Marcia, many white Americans understand privilege and demonstrate how it can be used as a life skill to support inclusion. Similarly most Americans are culturally sensitive demonstrating the obvious and basic respect for differences. Hyatt talked about how she learned respect and honor from her Lebanese family and uses this as the basis for how she treats others.

If this is true for so many of us, why didn't our cups have many different colored beads in them?

This is what I think: Most of us have learned and lived by the Golden Rule-- treating others the way we want to be treated. This rule emphasizes how we want to be treated. Therefore we is the standard for behavior. Rather, we should live by the Platinum Rule that states that we treat others the way they want to be treated. This seems to be a better standard for embracing diversity. However, living by the Platinum Rule precludes that we know how each other wants to be treated. And we can't treat others in this manner if we don't know them.

I am convinced more than ever that until our world becomes more diverse after 5PM on weekdays and all day on Saturdays and Sundays, race relations will never achieve a level beyond that which settles for a non-racist society in principle and policy. Sadly, our cups will remain monoracial and we will remain a society that settles for tolerance as the standard for race relations.

What the Catholic Church Can Learn from White Men

2009-03-13T20:09:00.000-04:00

Dimension: Religion

Pope Benedict XVI acknowledged his "mistake" on Thursday and expressed deep regrets for embracing the excommunicated bishop who denied that the Nazis killed Jews in gas chambers. Reportedly, the Pope wanted to welcome back to the church the ultraconservative Society of St. Pius X to which the excommunicated bishop belonged. He admitted that he didn't know about the offending remarks made by Bishop Williamson before he lifted the excommunication.

I admit that I have not followed the details of this story closely (probably as a means to avoid stressing myself out by feeling embarrassed as a Catholic about our leadership) but I believe that in addition to this action there have been a number of attempts by Pope Benedict XVI to "revitalize" the church by going back to what some might experience as Pre-Vatican II days. In those days Masses were prayed in Latin, indulgences were given out for a multitude of sins and families prayed the rosary before retiring to bed at night.

It was also reported that the Pope was saddened that even Catholics "thought they had to attack me with open hostility." I do not condone open hostility (especially with the Pope--I am not stupid; I was taught well by my elementary school nuns to fear the fires of hell for this kind of behavior). But I respectfully submit there is a lesson here for the Catholic Church and it comes from what many white men have learned about managing diversity--if you always do what you always did, you won't always get what you always got. Today, most white men know that not paying attention to diversity blinds you to the rest of the world and keeps you encapsulated.

In that same Catholic elementary school education where I learned about the fires of hell, I also learned that the Catholic church was the one, true church. Translated this means the top dog, the chief kahuna, the alpha and the omega, the "IT" factor. I realize that is not the theological explanation (catholic does mean universal) but that is how it played out in everyday life and was interpreted. I recall the concentric circles that Sister Mary Grade School Teacher drew on the board with God at the center and Catholics in the circle closest to God. The next circles (in descending order away from God) were protestants, Jews and others who didn't believe in Christ, agnostics and then atheists in the circle farthest away from God. Now mind you--all could still find salvation somehow. If you weren't Catholic then finding salvation was just was a much, much harder way to go.

In the 1960s--the same time as Vatican II, the conference that reformed the Catholic church--diversity professionals were talking about the concept of privilege only in terms related to white males. White men held all the power and were unaware of their oppressive attitudes and behaviors. They were the fish in the water that didn't get the concept of wetness. They were the default value on the computer. Today we know that privilege operates in every dimension of diversity--especially in religion.

I experience privilege as a Catholic Christian in America. I never have to explain my faith tradition or take vacation days to observe holy days. I can read about my faith in the daily newspaper. This weekend the results of our parish clustering process announcing the closing of several parishes will be front page news. I have been to public professional conferences where prayers are raised in Jesus' name before a meal. As a practicing Catholic Christian whose faith is central to my daily life I am appreciative of this privilege. As an American who values and works for inclusive practices in public spaces, I am disappointed that we, as Christians, do not pay more attention to the myriad of ways in which we exude privilege.

I appreciate that the Pope wants to reach back to conservative groups of Catholics to invite them back to the fold. I am more disappointed that more attention was not paid to those who have been hurt by our privileged stance. I believe this was a missed opportunity to take a strong, firm position in that direction. I am saddened that there wasn't careful attention paid to the depth of the offending remarks. Privilege does indeed blind you.

When Upper is Lower

2009-03-11T20:22:00.000-04:00

Dimension: Class
This morning, two of the three papers that come to our household daily headlined with Madoff's plan to plead guilty to 11 felony charges. With only a fraction of the $64.8 billion accounts he claimed to have on hand, The Wall Street Journal reported that Mr. Madoff allegedly deceived thousands of investors, used investor funds to illegally support his stock-trading business and directed employees to generate trading documents. The headlines popped in my mind as I passed several bright yellow signs of the Pay Day Loans money marts as I traveled through the inner city to downtown Cleveland. It was early morning and the parking lot of the money mart was already full. There were people desperate enough to borrow $100 to $300 and pay $17.50 to $52.50 of that needed cash to get the needed funds. I watched as an elderly black man got into a car. The face of Bernard Madoff featured on the front pages as the "disgraced financier" juxtaposed with the face of this stranger.

I thought about how class in this country is loosely determined by income, occupation and prestige. Yet we only focus on the income criterion when we sort people into lower, middle, and upper class categories. How arbitrary.

Many are speculating exactly how much Madoff personally pocketed from his Ponzi scheme. Who knows? He most likely is still upper class by income. And even if he is "disgraced" he still possesses the competencies of a financier. He has been free on bail since December on house arrest in his penthouse apartment. Sounds pretty prestigious to me...

Ironically, I imagine there were at least ten individuals entering Pay Day Loans today whose talents and ethics would categorize them as upper class. Yet their "pay days" have turned into "exchange days" with more than a negative balance. How unclassy.

Little People Big Insight

2009-03-10T14:30:00.000-04:00

Dimension: Physical Ability

I caught a segment of the Oprah Show yesterday featuring Jen Arnold and Bill Klein, the newly- wed stars of TLC's new reality show, Little People: Just Married. As I watched this attractive couple I thought about how little I know about Little People. I do not mean how much information I lack about the physical aspects of dwarfism--I could google that--but how little I know about the cultural patterns and social experiences (positive and negative) that have shaped their worldview.

I then thought about how often in my teaching and in my writing I have stated that we had made progress in race and gender matters of diversity due to the visibility of these dimensions. As I watched Jen Arnold and Bill Klein perched, feet dangling on Oprah's couch, my insight hit me like a ton of bricks. It did not take 20+ years of experience as a trained observer of human behavior to note that just as it impossible not to see race and gender, it is equally as impossible not to see Little People as (duh!) little people.

The only Little Person I know is Deb Dagit, executive director of Diversity & Work Environment for Merck & Co. I really only know her professionally from meeting her at conferences and workshops. When she was in Cleveland recently to present at the City Club as part of Key Bank's Diversity Thought Leaders Series I was impressed, as always, at her depth of understanding of diversity business integration strategy. During the question and answer period it took one courageous soul to effectively communicate across the differences of her stature and those of us in the audience to ask, "Tell us about your experiences as a Little Person." She only had a minute to answer but I wished we had lots more time.

One of the reasons why I love the work of diversity so much is because I am constantly learning. I jokingly say I will be learning diversity even six months after I am in the grave. Why have I been so blind to the visibility of Little People and their differences? Have I been that ethnocentric and myopic in my own world view that I missed this big but oh so obvious insight? If people and color and women have had a prominent voice in the diversity arena because of the visibility of our differences from white males, why haven't Little People had more of a voice? Or have they been speaking and I haven't been listening?

I do not watch many reality shows but I look forward to learning more about Little People.

Diversity Conversations Introduction

2009-03-08T13:01:00.000-04:00

In the 2004 edition of Racing Across the Lines I encouraged readers to keep the dialogue going on cross-racial socializing and race relations in America. This blog is another invitation to on-going dialogue about diversity matters. The dialogue is expanded beyond race to include all of the big 8 dimensions (race, gender, ethnicity, age, sexual orientation, class, mental/physical ability and religion). The conversation focuses on the impact of these dimensions on our thinking and behavior in the effort to have us go beyond awareness to changing our behavior.

Conversations about these topics do not happen easily and are generally only discussed when there are major events like the election of our nation's first African American President(which sparked conversation about race) or California’s Proposition 8 (which prompted much discussion on sexual orientation). When events like these happen, politicians and their pundits, journalists, historians and university professors have natural platforms to publicly broadcast their views. Let this be a forum for all of us--regardless of our professional background--to present our views and learn from each other. We all have a perspective worth sharing and the more we can share our views in public spaces the wider that space becomes and the more enlightened we become collectively. We do not need a major event to talk about something that is so central to our collective identity as humans.

Here are a few guidelines for our conversations:
• Communicate clearly, directly, honestly and respectfully. No zaps! No foul language.
• Speak for yourself using I statements.
• Keep your comments crisp and deep. No dissertations or long soliloquies.
• Respond to comments rather than rebut what was written. This means you have to first acknowledge the truth of another’s statement.
• Avoid advice giving, chastising, assuming intention, moralizing…
• Release the need to be right. Be willing to see "the other side of the dollar bill."

Thanks much for entering the conversation.

Scared, Insecure and Lazy

2009-03-08T12:21:00.000-04:00

February 23, 2009 Dimension: Race

In Attorney General Erick Holder’s February 18th remarks at the Department of Justice African American History Month program, Mr. Holder stated that we were a nation of cowards because we do not talk enough with each other about race. He also stated that on Saturdays and Sundays our nation is not significantly different in our interactions than our interactions of 50 years ago. I agree. But I would add that we are cowards for a good reason. Race is still a prickly topic for discussion in America.

In Racing Across the Lines, I proposed that race relations in America would not change unless what we did after 8-5 and on weekends included socializing across racial lines. My academic work on this topic confirmed that we do not easily cross racial lines in friendship. We are not necessarily racists-- we are just scared, insecure and lazy.

We don't talk about race because we are scared. We lack the skill sets to know how to do so effectively and most people do not want to hurt anyone's feelings or appear insensitive.

We don't talk about race because we are insecure. We don't really believe in our individual goodness and our collective greatness so we remain segregated.

We don't talk about race because we are lazy. As humans we are hard wired not to manage differences well. We have to move out of our comfort zone to manage cross-racial friendships and for many people that is just too much work to do in the little discretionary leisure time that we have. It takes work to build trust and really get to know those who are different from us.

We cannot afford to be scared, insecure or lazy. It is indeed a "new era of responsibility" that extends not only to the economy, global relations, energy, and healthcare but to how we give witness to each other about our values as Americans and how we treat each other as a multiracial, multicultural America.